When you break up a long term relationship, no one really tells you that you'll feel a little less yourself. Like somehow you were a bigger person than you were and then the break-up cleaves you in two and you're left with your arm around an imaginary shoulder that's no longer there. Everything feels emptier, not just your heart, but everything; from your head to your body to the space you feel you occupy in the world. In your head, the subjects you used to talk about with him and only him just float along your mind because you can't bounce it off him any longer, until they pop soundlessly like thought bubbles of conversation no one but you is ever really going to hear now. You used to feel a little bit bigger in the world and maybe it was the security or the confidence of that relationship but when you could be alone and walk around the world, you were still a little bigger in the knowledge that you had someone waiting for you. And now it's just you. The death of a long term relationship makes you feel like you step lighter and more soundlessly in the world but who would really care now? It's just you. No one will really hear that step but you.
And your heart. People die of a broken heart and you used to think that was romantic bull but then you realize that there is an all too real ache and pain somewhere in your chest cavity that you could have sworn was your heart but really can't be because that's seriously all just empty space now (there can't be anything there, you just feel empty). The death of a long term relationship feels like if you did still have a heart, there's a gaping hole carved right out of it that you don't know how you can fill again. And maybe you never really do, because every love is different and no love is the same and no person can change you like another person can.
The INFJ type is believed to be very rare (less than 1 percent of the population) and it has an unusual set of traits. Even though their presence can be described as very quiet, INFJ personalities usually have many strong opinions, especially when it comes to issues they consider really important in life. If an INFJ is fighting for something, this is because they believe in the idea itself, not because of some selfish reasons.
INFJ personalities are drawn towards helping those in need – they may rush to the place of a major disaster, participate in rescue efforts, do charity work etc. INFJs see this as their duty and their purpose in life – people with this personality type firmly believe that nothing else would help the world as much as getting rid of all the tyrants. Karma and similar concepts are very attractive to INFJs.
These tendencies are also strengthened by the fact that INFJ personalities have a unique combination of idealism and decisiveness – this means that their creativity and imagination can be directed towards a specific goal. Few other personality types have this trait and this is one of the most important reasons why many INFJs are able to eventually realize their dreams and make a lasting positive impact.
One of my favorite people in the world is my 89 year old grandmother and as she gets up there in age, I'm beginning to wonder what the best method of care is as we get older. It's different living with someone who's elderly, an eye-opening front row seat to what will happen when we get older, how dependent we will be on our loved ones or other people.
I always thought that I would be taking care of my parents as they get on in age, but I never really considered what taking care of will mean. I figured that it would be the just one kind of care... I never figured that there would be different kinds that could make a huge difference in the lifestyle we afford our elderly but that each option is meant with the same kind of love and attention.
My grandmother is 89 years old and she’s always been strong and clever and accomplished. I’ve lived with her for five years already and I never really noticed great big changes about her. It’s only when family comes to visit and they point it out that I am able to take a step back and go “huh. You’re right, she is more frail than she used to be.”
But the last couple of years have changed it. Sure, she’s old but I feel like living with her gives me a front-row seat to her deterioration. She was diagnosed with Parkinson’s a year ago but her moments of forgetfulness always felt like it was more old age than anything. The last few months, the shaking has started and even I’ve gotten used to that.
But she was hospitalized a week ago for mild pneumonia, just as a precaution. When she got back from the hospital, things changed really fast. The day after she came back, it felt like her mind had just taken a huge blow. There’s dementia (a horrible terrible sounding word) but worse, that could just be a symptom of Alzheimer’s, I don’t know
Abbi is a petite human, blogger, amateur photographer, permanent humanitarian, avid traveller, culture addict, giant bookworm and impossible foodie.